#im fine just mourning okay leave me alone | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thewalkingdeadband · 2 years ago

Text

CARYL'S LAST EPISODE... (It IS going to be long, beware...) please note that these are only my opinion and the things i felt while watching

----------------

I dont know where to start... i posponed in order to try to gather my thoughts but its hard..

Im not okay. Im not fine. I keep thinking about what we were supposed to have. Them riding off together. Now imagine the same ending scene for them, saying both goodbye to the kids and Ezekiel, with the same beautiful music in the background....

We probably wouldn't have had an I love you then, nor a kiss i believe, but we would've had them leaving together and riding off to their spin off. Which was the plan. Which was the fucking plan. The fucking endgame plan. With or without canon. This is all i could think while watching the scene and hearing the music behind.

I was so caught up in the episode earlier with Rosita and everything happening that it almost took me the time jump to remember that it was the last twd ep ever and that they were going their separate ways at the end, within the next 20 mns or so. Thats when it hit me. Again.

So they were together the whole way this episode, taking care both of Judith, Carol taking care of Daryl, both respectfully giving Magna/Connie/Yumiko/Kelly some space to say goodbye and mourn Luke while trying to save Jude. And while watching over her, they gave each other at some point a beautiful longing look .

She helped him giving his blood, she teared up with relief when Little ass kicker woke up, her hands in her hair.

I loved all that.

Then: bam, action, back to the rest of the episode, fastforward to the end with them locking Pamela up and giving her the same kind of speech Richonne gave when they locked up Negan in the s8 finale. Please. And let's not even go back to Family 11.23, where they ran with Judith in Daryl's arms and Carol clearing the way, just as Richonne with Carl in s6.... Please, again.

But back to Rest in Peace:

Time jump: we have Connie running towards Daryl and my heart shattered a little, thinking "oh no its like Zeke in 9x01, they made them canon post time jump". But no, so huuuuuge relief, cause im not gonna lie and pretend: she did look like a girlfriend running towards her boyfriend in this scene, and that was totally done on purpose i believe. That said, we knew he was leaving and as far as we knew not with Connie so it didnt make sense for me to actually worry i guess ?

And then we see Carol. Short haired. Which i liked. Because if having long hair meant feeling safe enough coz Ed couldnt grab them anymore so no need to cut them short, having short hair again meant, in my opinion: now i feel safe regardless of my haircut, no one's gonna hurt me, Ed is long dead, i can feel safe and relaxed with long OR short hair.

And then we have the goodbye....

I wish you were coming with me. I was torn between screaming "dont we all" and "no shit sherlock".

This is going to be good for you, for me.

Yes. You heard that. To be separated. Good.for.them. Why? How? When? The hell does it mean? I had time to think abt it, and i dont like what i came up with:

"i love u too much and it scares me? We're too fusional? We hurt each other too much lately?? You re better off without me because im not good for u anyway? And to be alone - without u- for a while will allow me some time to heal ?"

After he says goodbye to the kids and zeke, Judith goes, hey, daryl, u deserve happiness too and yes, she seems to look behind, towards Carol but no, im not going to make conclusions out of it even if i love the idea, especially considering what Norman said to Vanity fair abt this line ("if there is any line from the finale that carries over to the spin off , it's that one"). That doesnt look good but i also know not to make a big deal out of what actors say - good or bad, honestly - and at this point i dont wanna care for now, we'll see.

Here's the link for this interview:

Then ... I LOVE YOU

SO... unfortunately, it was said in the same episode than Rosita/Eugene's i love you, and than Magna's " I love you" and "we love you so much" to Luke. So yeah, anyone can see it as platonic if they want to, and put Caryl in the same box as Rosita/Eugene and Luke/his group. It was done on purpose to me.. a la "see? This is the last episode, so this is the episode of the i love yous and do what u want with it"

BUT... the way he said it sounded romantic as hell to me (same as the look he gave her when he answered "yeah..." to her "its a beautiful day to head out"...).

This is her answer/response that bothered me. He said it as a sort of relief for me, like "i finaaaally let it out of my chest", and "i fucking mean it" but she brushed it off, a la "yeah sure pookie dont make fun of me" and to be honest i was almost expecting her to have a "staaaaap" Daryl call back (rofl/tears/idontevenknowanymore). Then she kind of realised he was serious and answered a bit shyly/awkardly i love u too. I was like oh come on!!!! Does she STILL think she's not good enough for his love??

To me he looked disappointed for a nanosecond, and then "oh well", touches her face, they hug, smile, look sad, and off we go. (Yes, maybe it was more Melissa/Norman than Caryl at this point, i dont know).

And then he looks like he wants to say something to her again, and i want to believe it was something like either "u sure u dont want to come ? Please come? " And/ or "i actually love you, you know ? " but eh...

At the end of the day, of course i loved the I love you. For freak's sake, he didnt say it to anyone else in this show, and it is a big deal coming from him, and he said it first. He could have just said: im gonna miss u so much. No, his last words to her were i love you. His last words ever in the main show were to Carol and it was I love you. Of course i screamed with joy regardless of everything.

Ok, to end this dead ass long post, two more things:

Considering everything, im glad Carol's with the kids. Since i like Carick, it gives me hope that maybe, maybe, he could reunite with his kids and Carol (with Rick being forever grateful to her once more), with Daryl - and Michonne of course - being obviously right beside him... since a Rickyl reunion is more than sure at this point, which would lead to a - one can hope- Caryl reunion too...

Also i like the idea of Judith taking care of Carol like Daryl asked. After everything, this is a nice concept. She needs to be taken care of, for once. And if its by the kids, nice touch, since she's taken care of them so much. Plus Carol and Judith being close is all i ever hoped for.

On a lighter note - and please note that it was only a joke to cheer me up, and that i LOVE Ezekiel :

Not my bf saying while watching the caryl goodbye: "look at Zeke being "lets get the fuck out of here kids im not watching this emotional goodbye" while still staying not too far behind to make sure Daryl's actually leaving"

It made me laugh trough my tears, but in all seriousness, Zeke gave them space and i loved him for that, also his hug with Daryl was heartfelt and touching. I want him to find happiness and really move on.

NB: i had a thousand more things to say, but its already way too long...

NB bis: i wish they had brought up the cherokee rose. They were in a beautiful place where there were probably a lot of flowers, he could have taken one and put it in her hair to cheer her up since she was crying and sad. Well, cherokee roses may not be easy to find i dont know... but you know, anything that makes a nice call back to that. Or the acorns. Or the bracelet. Make one last cute joke abt that. For example.

Oh, and have u seen how Maggie asked to see and talk to them both about exploring the world? Since Carol says u want to talk etc. I bet this scene wasnt changed and was in the original way to send caryl into their spin off...

#caryl #caryl fam #caryl forever

9 notes · View notes

ashlingnarcos · 3 years ago

Text

the cast of narcos & narcos mexico needs to be stopped

like I think we all need to get together behind this I don't know how we let Maurice Compte get away with this so long but they just let the man walk out of the house looking like that every damn day and it's perfectly legal the man is a menace and he must be stopped God gave him a face like that and he was like oh I'll add some Shoulders on to this. No. No sir. I thinketh the fuckety not. you got me all fucked up and I feel so okay and normal about it I feel FINE

sPEAKING of which, they really i mean they REALLY looked at Mayra Hermosillo and were like we are gonna put her on television this is going to go really well this will be perfectly fine and it will not fry the everloving eyes out of our viewers certainly not certainly all our viewers will be perfectly fine with this even and especially the bisexual ones meanwhile this woman is so beautiful you would take your coat off just so she wouldn't have to step on a puddle. excuse me. speaking respectfully Narcos Mexico!Enedina is so beautiful that if you fell asleep next to her I feel like you wouldn't have any nightmares. that's a real thing, right? isn't it? ISNT IT????????

who the FUCK did the lighting and the wardrobe for Scoot McNairy im not gonna get violent i just wanna talk SIKE I fully wanna fight you in the dennys parking lot!! even a fucking waffle house parking lot!!! what have you done! what have you done! sure it's just a scrawny scruffy little white guy! we can say that! you know what else we can say? that the grand canyon is just a bunch of rocks. leave me alone. that man exists and he's just out there looking like that but im being sooooo brave about it i really really am

the crew behind narcos mexico has such a fucking violent mind they really really just had Bobby Soto striding along out here with Depeche Mode playing in the background they really played Depeche Mode with bisexual lighting on EVERYONES faces including Manuel Masalva and Alfonso Dosal and im supposed to get up the next morning and go to work??? im supposed to enter number? in spreadsheets?? i just watch Teresa Ruiz gaze into Diego Luna's eyes and they don't touch each other but they touch each other but they don't but they do and I'm just supposed to dO MY FUCKING TAXES??? NO????????????

Pedro Pascal soulful in a bulletproof jacket NO im NOT standing for it im NOT ALLOWING IT im writing letters to congress im manning the phones im patrolling the streets of hollywood! NO these fuckers really said we're going to give you Tenoch Huerta with his ass out and you're going to take it!!! and we just let them!!!!!!! NO SIR they said José María Yazpik in a black shirt with his throat showing NO they said Viviana Serna in lingerie NO they said Gorka Lasaosa mourning and vengeful NO they said Michael Peña with a gun NO they literally introduced us to Alberto Guerra??????????????? HOW MANY OF YOU did not know who Alberto Guerra was before this show started and now you can NEVER FUCKING FORGET ! THEY DID THIS TO US . FUCK !

my soul will never know peace. thank you. this has been my TedTalk

#im slipping into a fugue state over here like. is it my fault? yes. but is it my fault? absolutely the fuck not #narcos #narcos mexico #this is a joke but its actually not a joke because i still find it upsetting how theyve assembled a cast this hot #and they didn't even ask my permission. the nERVE #biting screaming tearing at my own face etc etc etc #mine #rant #ramble #narcos mexico cast

66 notes · View notes

sup-hoes-its-me · 4 years ago

Text

Golden (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: you are in a relationship with kakaski, but after an accident, you have amnesia, and can’t remember him anymore. angst baby. Very feminine Civilian!reader (you own a bookstore, so cliche lmao) essentially, this series is mindless romantic indulgences i wrote mostly for myself, but if other people can enjoy them then i did my job as a fanfic writer.

A/N: im definitely not writing a fanfic for every song on fine line...haha

Word count: 5600

_____

He lay awake at night after the incident, imagining the moment he truly knew he was in love with her. Completely infatuated with this beautiful woman working at the bookstore. It was the only thing he could do now that his entire world had come crashing around him. With everything that happened in the hospital, this was the only way he knew how to cope.

He drifted off into the dream once again.

Kakashi stood by the front gates of the village, a paperback book he had just bought in his hand, folded over so he could read with one hand. One more time before he left for this mission, one he knew would last longer than anyone would like, he visited the old bookstore in town. He wanted to think he just stopped by to stock up on reading material, but that wasn’t it.

It was always about her.

When he saw Y/N running up to him, her apron nearly falling off and her hair in disarray, his eyes widened and he set the book down by his side. She was out of breath when she got to him, pressing her hands to her chest to get herself put together. Her brows furrowed deeply as she lifted her eyes to meet his.

“Kakashi,” she exclaimed.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

“I know you’re going on this long mission and you won’t be around for a few months, and I can’t stand the thought of you leaving without me telling you this,” she said, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t insanely curious what she had to say. She was a sweet village girl, and he frequented her store, quite a bit actually. On occasion, he would drop by a few times in a day just to say hello. He definitely wasn’t slick.

He waited for her to continue and she didn’t hesitate. “Every time you leave, I get this pain in my chest. I worry about you day and night because I know the life of a shinobi is never guaranteed. I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell you this time, if I kept acting like the coward I am.”

“I see? Well, what’s on your mind?”

“I-I’ve never felt this way for anyone before, and I don’t know how to deal with it, so here goes,” she told him, taking a deep breath before her next words, “I think I’m in love with you, Kakashi Hatake. I think I’ve loved you since the first time you stepped foot in my parents store.”

“I…”

What was he supposed to say to that?

“You don’t have to say anything back. It doesn’t bother me, I know how closed off you ninja are. Just please, take my words and hold them close on your journeys.” She paused, clenching her soft fists by her sides. She wasn’t scared of rejection, not at all. She was only scared that Kakashi might not care about her words at all. “Please, don’t forget someone loves you.”

In that moment, he felt his heart stop beating, only for a second, but he felt it. Shifted awkwardly, not wanting to let off that he was getting even a little emotional at her declaration. He was tough as nails, the copy-nin. Not some lover boy, even if he wanted to be. Even if he wanted to swoop in right then and kiss her to pieces.

All he could say was, “I’ll keep that in my mind. Thank you, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome. Now, don’t fool around out there so you can come back to me in one piece!” she laughed, feeling tears bubbling up in the corners of her eyes.

He found himself smiling back at the young woman. “You got it.”

__________

Kakashi was never really one to express his feelings. Generally, he kept them inside to mourn alone. It was just in his nature, it was nothing personal with the people he knew and trusted. There was just something about Y/N that made him drop down some of those thick barriers.

His girlfriend was a normal woman, working long shifts in the village bookstore since she was a teenager. She never attended the academy, wasn't chakra sensitive, nothing in particular was so outstanding that she was noticed. Nothing on the surface, actually.

It was her smile and her laugh, the way she could make anyone feel like they were important and wanted, that attracted Kakashi to her in the first place. From the first time they met as teenagers in the bookstore aisles, he knew he was caught in some sort of trap. For a minute, he compared the feeling to that of a genjutsu, even though he knew that was far from a possibility.

To him, when she smiled, it felt as if everything was going to be okay. All the pain and suffering disappeared when she was around. He really couldn’t understand how that could be happening, with the world crumbling around him everyday.

That was a particularly rare attribute among ninja folk, whose lives led them to believe that happiness wasn’t achievable and death was common; pain was so normal for him. It was refreshing to have someone around who didn't think like that, that could change the tone of a room in a moment with just an ounce of positive energy. Y/N was innocent to the majority of these harsh realities that the ninja faced, for the most part.

As with most people in the village, her parents lost their lives during the invasion of the nine tails. She was alone for a long time, but despite that, she tried to find joys in reading, in stacking new books on shelves, in talking to unique individuals that would stop by. And as she aged, she realized her most favorite customer was one with a masked face, and a love of gushy, perverted novels.

She was even friends with some of his closest friends, Gai, Yamato, Sakura. She reached out to them, getting visits here and there while she worked during the day. After he informed his closest companions of his blossoming affair with the bookstore girl, they just had to get in an insider view. They kept visiting after the first meetings. Sakura bringing lunch, Yamato helping her with repairs, and Gai just bringing his brightest smile and a boatload of jokes and giggles to share at the front counter.

It was only a matter of time before they fell into some weird friendship, a civilian and one of the top shinobi of their village. He was gone half the time on missions, and sometimes, when he was ANBU, she wouldn’t see him for weeks at a time. Occasionally, when a mission was long and difficult, she would hear pawing at her window late into the night. When she pulled back the blinds, a small dog would be sitting there with a folded piece of paper in his mouth, waiting for her to take it.

She loved those letters, they became her prized possessions. There was nothing else she loved more in the world than seeing his kind words written out on paper, his declarations of love that he would never dare say aloud. To him, it was easier to say those things on paper, to not be around when she read about his feelings for her. He was still attentive and kind to her in person, but the letters spoke with a romanticism that he couldn’t.

Y/N practically glowed when she spoke to him, so in love with him she could barely keep it restrained. He knew this. He knew she was as deeply in love with him as he was entranced with her. It had been 5 years since they started dating, and he prolonged the inevitable path of marriage as long as he could. Having a girlfriend was one thing, but marrying someone felt like a burden he couldn’t shoulder. He wanted to, but it just seemed like too much work, too much risk.

After years, he realized the waiting just wasn’t worth it. They were only getting older as the time went by. She just warmed his empty heart, he knew that was something only she could do for him. He needed that.

And that's why he sat in the comfort of Ichiraku, Sakura by his side, sipping on some soup. She was the only one he truly trusted with this knowledge, the only one who could give him genuine advice. He just needed to tell someone what he was about to do. He sat there, his fingers hovering over his pants pocket, eyes trailed down at the table.

"What did you want to talk about, Sensei?" She had asked.

"You really like Y/N, right? Think she's good for me?"

She smiled with a small nod. "Of course. Y/N is so sweet. She makes you so happy I can tell. I think it's really good for you." It was true. Sakura didn’t know what her sensei was like before he met the woman. That was years ago before she was even born. What she did know is that someone with that much pain seeping from his heart could use some love in his life, a stable shoulder to lean onto. If anyone was stable, it was her. Without any cares in the world other than worrying for her boyfriend and keeping her business afloat. Her trauma was behind her, unlike some of the shinobi that carry those with them for the rest of their lives. Guilt, anger, resentment.

He pulled a tiny, drawstring bag from his pocket and fiddled with the strings between his fingers. "When I was in the Land of Fire last month, I picked this up from a merchant," he explained, pulling open the bag and pouring out the contents. A small ring clicked against the bar table. "Take a look, tell me what you think."

She dropped her spoon and reached over for the ring, holding it gently with the pads of her fingertips. It was beautiful. It sparkled like sunlight hitting clear blue waters. A stone rested in the center, flecks of lavender and blue floating in the sparkly gem. When she turned it in the sunlight, more colors appeared and changed, morphing into something spectacular in every sense of the word.

"Kakashi-sensei, it's gorgeous. Are you going to give this to Y/N?"

"After all this time, it seems inevitable really. Time flies."

"Oh my gosh. I'm so happy for you. She's going to be ecstatic, I just know it. She loves you more than life itself." He liked hearing that reaffirmed for him, even though Y/N frequently told him how she felt, daily ‘I love you’s. Unlike him, those words were not rare, but each time it filled his chest with warmth.

He smiled fondly, watching as she continued to turn to ring in her hands. He never thought this would happen to him: marrying someone. He didn't want to lose anyone else. He didn't want to put that risk on someone, especially Y/N. He had suppressed his feelings for her for a few years before he finally succumbed to the urge to tell her. Finally, after years of longing and avoiding the obvious, she became his, and he was undoubtedly hers.

It was a hard decision. He knew it was wrong to risk it, put her life on the line, but now he felt ridiculous sulking around waiting for something that was never going to happen. Nothing had happened to Y/N yet, and it had been years. She was gonna be fine. He was only being paranoid, he had convinced himself.

"Tonight. I'm going to help her close the store and do it then."

"You're a good man, Kakashi. She’s so lucky to have you protecting her and watching out for her, ya know? You two balance each other out perfectly,” the girl sighed. If only she could find a love like her sensei had with his significant other.

"Thanks, Sakura.”

They finished up their conversation, and he paid the bill for her, feeling so high that a bit of money from his wallet didn't even bother him. It was slightly later than he was supposed to go see her. The bookstore should have already closed by about 10 minutes.

All he could think about on the way there was how she would laugh about him being late, as usual. She would hug him to say hello, like she usually wound, and then give him a kiss on his masked cheek. He would help her quickly reorganize books before pulling out the ring. To him, it wasn't really about her saying yes at all so much as this moment, proposing to the love of his life, meant he could leave his curse behind and be happy for once with someone he cared about. She was his savior, an escape from a mindset so ingrained he couldn't fight it on his own.

But when he walked up to the front of the store. He noticed the lights still on even though she would have shut them off by now. The sign out front still flipped to open. He didn’t think it was too weird at all, he just thought maybe she was waiting for him to come along to finish up.

As he walked in though, he noticed the whole reams of paper strewn across the floor. Piles of books were aggressively thrown from the shelves, scattered around the floor like someone side swept them from the stands. Ink stained the checkout counter where she normally sat, inkwell tipped over the edge and dripped onto the carpet which she took care to keep clean. It was disastrous getting stains out of that carpet, she always said to him.

Most importantly, on some of the papers scattered around, he spotted blood splatter, drips of half dried blood present all the way from her desk to the back door. He felt panic rise up from his stomach all the way to his throat, and his heart raced. It was rare something made him truly terrified, and this was one of those moments.

He searched, god, he scoured that entire building over and over again for the woman. He checked every aisle and under every table. He ran upstairs to her apartment and checked in the few small rooms she had, scared she was cowering in her bathtub or hiding under the bed. He ran to the neighboring stores, asking if they'd heard from her, and received nothing but empty words. He just wanted her to be anywhere that he could find, anywhere but in the arms of someone evil.

His Y/N was gone, and he was hopelessly at the mercy of his curse once again.

______

He wasn't even allowed to go on the search mission for his girlfriend. Instead, Tsunade sent Yamato as well as a few chunin who knew Y/N enough to recognize her but not enough to fail at being objective. Apparently, the copy-nin wasn't in his right mind to go on a mission right now, especially one that was so personal to him. All his missions for the foreseeable future had been cancelled and another jounin was set to replace him. He could only sit back at home, guilt ridden and feeling useless, unable to help, unable to search. He did this to her. He knew that putting his heart into someone else's hands wasn't right, that it would only lead to her suffering but he couldn't listen to his own experience. He didn’t think it could happen to Y/N. he thought he could protect her.

But fate finds a way, it seems.

He trusted Yamato and the others to find her, but it was nothing like going himself. He wanted nothing more than to see the men who stole her away taught a lesson for what they had done. He wanted to cradle her in his arms and kiss her head, and promise something like this would never happen again. At least, that’s what he wanted to do. He didn’t know how he would react in the moment, despite developing quite good self-control over the years. How could he contain himself when the perpetrators caused his beautiful girl to bleed, and no doubt suffer?

Sakura felt the worst for Kakashi, knowing what she knew. She could imagine him heading to propose to his little girlfriend whom he loved more than anything in the entire world, and see only her blood splattered across the room and endless signs of a brutal struggle. Not to mention no one had a clue why they stole her or what was happening where no one else could see. The medical nin nearly shed a couple tears when Kakashi rushed into the Hokage's office without announcement, proclaiming that his girlfriend was gone, kidnapped from her own store where she worked alone all day.

Tsunade, despite barely knowing the girl, knew it was important; for anyone to be stolen from their village was serious enough. Although she felt for Kakashi, she had to keep him calm while she worked on finding the subject of his affection. She sent out teams immediately, and stressed that Kakashi was to remain in the village until everything was resolved one way or another. She didn't want any accidents because of a reckless, emotionally compromised shinobi faltering.

It only took the teams a single day to find their target.

Shikamaru and Choji were the ones to come back first, and in the larger boy's arms rested the limp, unconscious body of a missing woman. Ever so gently, he had her head tucked away against his chest the entire way home, trying his best not to hurt her anymore. Even if she was unconscious, he wanted to respect the body. From the moments they spoke before, she seemed like the nicest girl. He felt awful. She wasn’t the one putting her life on the line, she was the one that shinobi were supposed to protect. And they failed her.

When they walked through the gates of the village, Kakashi was already rushing up to the gates waiting for their arrival. He caught up to the boys and reached out to take her body from his arms, just to cradle her against him. It was the least that he could do was take her to the infirmary. To feel her faint heart beating against his chest. He was surprised when one of the chunin sadly shook his head.

"Kakashi, she's alive, but trust me, you don't want to see what they did to her," Shikamaru warned, and Choji flinched, just thinking about what her poor face looked like when they found her. Shikamaru knew for a fact that if his girlfriend was ever handed off to him looking so pitiful, he wouldn’t be able to control himself. He didn’t want the same to befall on his sensei. "Just trust me, I cannot let you see it, for your sake. Let Choji bring her to Tsunade."

He felt a burning in his stomach, pain creeping up in his abdomen like he was going to throw up all over the dirt path they stood on, but he did his best to remain calm despite the mix of emotions running through his head. He watched as the Akimichi carried her quickly off to the hospital. Kakashi didn't miss though, the blood stains on his tunic surrounding the area where her head was resting, circling her face. She had bled a lot in her time away, he realized.

God, he felt sick. So fucking nauseous.

"What happened?" he breathed heavily, words slipping through.

"Apparently, the guy had a grudge against your clan for something your father did to his family. Killed a criminal brother or some shit. When he heard wind of your girlfriend he knew he would take his revenge. Didn't want ransom, fame, nothing, just to torment you and torture her. Disgusting bastard."

There was one thing he wanted to know on top of his worry about her condition. He’d been thinking about it for the entire day she was missing. Obsessing even.

"What did you do with the man?" He hoped that justice had been served, and he couldn't imagine the two boys doing anything less.

"A man that would do that to a woman doesn't deserve his life," he muttered, his eyes trailed off to the village, “I made it painful.”

Kakashi nodded to him, and together they stood there in silence for what felt like an eternity.

“Sensei?”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry.”

____________

When he got to the hospital, Choji was directly quickly to a special unit with particularly fancy machines around the room. Sakura was standing beside her own mentor awaiting the arrival of her friend. The moment she finally saw Y/N's exposed face, she cried. Tears fell from her eyes and she leant over the hospital bed to get a look at all her wounds. She looked alien, and the amount of blood that stained her hairline and cheeks was thick and heavy. Choji had tried to wipe it off, but he just couldn’t get it all.

"Y/N! Oh my God, what did they do to you?" She cried, running her hands shakily over the contusions and the cuts and the bulging areas near her temples. Her body was no better but her face is what hurt Sakura the most. It was hard to believe that all the life had been drained from her body after this one incident.

The light had left her body. Her familiar glow emanating from her soft skin was missing. She looked cold and dead. For the first time, Sakura saw her without her smile, without any bit of optimism. It felt like she was staring at an empty shell of the woman she knew.

"Sakura, get the IV ready. I need to get to work."

And so she did what she does best. Healers at work in their element fixing broken bones, burst capillaries in her head, torn skin. Everything they could. It took hours, and her face still wasn't completely healed in the end, just less swollen. She still had some bumps and bruises but those weren't going to be so bad. They could heal by themselves with a few days of rest and care.

She would be okay, they decided after a while of treatment, and moved her into a normal hospital room, under watch of nurses every so often, no visitors allowed either. Not for the first few days, much to Kakashi's displeasure. He was really getting irritated with the way everyone was keeping him from seeing her. Shouldn’t he be allowed? Essentially, the only family she had left? In reality though, he was scared.

But did he even want to see her again? He loved her, would do anything in the world for her. If only he had the guts to just give up on her and let her meet a normal man from the village, let her marry him and just forget all about their relationship. Then, nothing like this would ever happen again. She would be safer without having connections with him. He was so upset with himself for letting this happen.

He hated himself. It had been a long time since he genuinely thought those words. He hated himself more than anyone else. He let this happen, he was to blame for all this mess. A monster.

He headed back to his apartment that night and stared over at her tiny pile of belongings in the corner, ones she had left over his place as time went on. They still didn't live together so it wouldn't be the worst thing if he broke up with her. She would be hurt, probably cry for a few days, a week, maybe a month. He didn’t know. All he knew was that a little bit of crying was a lot better than getting fatally injured.

Just return her belongings in a box, and never go back to that fucking bookshop where he fell in love with her. He could get his novels directly from Jiraiya if he wanted them.

Tsunade already told him it would be days before he would be allowed to see her again, something about the healing process and that her chakra wasn't enough to fix everything. Based on what Shikamaru had told him, the way he acted- it must have been pretty bad. He couldn't even imagine her face beaten and broken.

All he knew was that in 2 days, he would be allowed to see her again, to possibly talk to her and apologize for what he had caused. It was the least he could do. At this point he couldn't imagine giving her that ring. How could she accept when he was the reason she was abducted and tortured?

He barely slept that night, but it didn't matter. He didn't have anything to do. He was given time off work until everything was resolved. He wondered if it would have been better to have a mission and forget all about the situation for even a couple fleeting moments.

He was just so tired of these feelings. He felt suffocated, and unlike himself. He was finding it hard to be cool, calm, and collected like usual. He just felt terrible. Too terrible to eat, too terrible to sleep, too terrible to do anything but stare up at the ceiling and wonder what could have been.

______

It was time to head to the hospital and see her. Yamato had come to his apartment so they could go and see Y/N. Tsunade gave him the green light first thing that morning when he reported to her. The wood style ninja wanted to see her as well, just to say he was happy she was recovering and even tell her that next time she needed help, if Kakashi wasn't around, to run to his apartment. He would always open his arms to help. So many shinobi of the village, after this incident, would be willing to drop everything and help. Her bookstore would probably always have eyes on it from now on.

Word travelled fast between the shinobi and soon enough almost everyone was giving Kakashi sympathetic looks, patting him on the back and apologizing to him for something they knew nothing about. He just wanted to get to her and say sorry for everything he had done. For not being there sooner, for his father and his clan causing this whole thing. He just needed to see her face. He couldn't get her out of his head.

Sakura was standing outside the room when he arrived. She was biting on her nails, which was oddly uncharacteristic of her. She rarely got nervous enough for habits like that to arise. She was normally so confident. That was the first of the red flags.

"Kakashi-sensei, Yamato. You're here to see Y/N, aren't you?" she asked, her voice quiet and hesitant.

She let him Yamato walk past her into the room but she raised her hand before Kakashi could walk in. She gave him one of the most sorry, pitiful looks he had ever seen, and her lip was quivering just a bit. It was barely noticeable but Kakashi was talented at noting the smallest things.

"Kakashi, I'm really sorry about everything. Lady Tsunade did everything she could. When you go in there, just please don't get upset. It's not as bad as you think. I'll explain everything later, but I want to see how she reacts to seeing you first," she bit out, her words mending together awkwardly.

He figured she was just nervous about her condition or maybe she was still bruised and bandaged up. If she was in a full body cast, he wouldn’t care. As long as he could see her. He couldn’t understand why Sakura was so worried. She would still be beautiful to him. She could never lose that shine that she carried regardless of her external features.

"Hmm. I'm sure it will be fine."

"I'm serious. Don't get upset and alarm her, it's very important you be careful."

"Gotcha."

She watched as he walked past her into the white room, sunlight leaking onto her bedside. The woman was fond of staring out the window since she woke, comforted by the familiarity of the village and the birds that flew by. That was the one thing she needed. Comfort.

Yamato sat at her bedside, and she seemed to be talking to him quietly. Her brows were furrowed deeply and she seemed strained, thoughts running through her brain.

"Kakashi-" the man began to say, desperate to say anything to his friend before the inevitable, but was interrupted.

"Y/N, I was so worried about you," he said, words tumbling out before he could even think. He just had so much to say. He continued, "I need to apologize for what happened. I know I should have been at the shop earlier to help you close, I just got caught up in something. It was my family's fault for your kidnapping. I cannot believe I dropped my guard and let this happen to you, baby-"

She looked at him, but without an ounce of the fondness he was so used to. Instead, his girlfriend just looked confused.

"I… I'm sorry but, Sir, do I know you?"

No.

Not this.

He pleaded in his head that this was not happening. That somehow he had misheard.

"It's me, Kakashi,” he replied softly, almost pleading for her to say something else.

She smiled sympathetically, peering up at him with a little glimmer of that kindness he knew in her eyes. He could tell she was confused, and he began to feel his heart break. "Uh, I'm so sorry but I don't remember you. We're we friends or something?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say something like that,” he muttered, his eyes turned to stare at the white tiles beneath his feet.He couldn’t look at her anymore.

"Yamato, you're friends with Kakashi-san, too?" She asked the brunette at her bedside, sitting in a chair wiping his sweaty palms on the thighs of his pants. He felt himself becoming nervous, especially when he felt Kakashi watching him. Why did she have to ask him that question? Why did she have to address him by his name so casually? He could feel Kakashi begin to bubble up emotions he hadn’t felt from him before.

"Yes. We are all very close friends, Y/N. You were closest with Kakashi actually."

"Then how come I can’t remember any of you?"

"I don't know." He felt fear creeping up his neck, Kakashi overwhelming his senses. The grey haired man just stood there, his eye flickering between the love of his life and his friend who apparently her brain thought was more important than him. Did he not look friendly enough to talk to? Was Yamato more inviting than he was, was that why she stopped talking to him? “I really wish I could help you there,” he mumbled.

She turned back to Kakashi and smiled, but it wasn't the one he knew from her. It was different. He hated it. He didn't even want to look at her anymore.

"I hope I remember you soon, or I'll just have to get to know you again, Kakashi-san," she chirped, reaching out to touch his hand which rested on the edge of her bed. The reaction he had was immediate and almost startling. The second her hand touched his, her warmth pressed to his cold fingers, he yanked his hand away and shoved it into his pocket.

He didn't want her to touch him. He didn't want anything other than to leave. Fuck getting to know him again. That wasn't an option.

"I need to go. I've got a mission I need to prepare for."

"Okay! Goodluck out there," she called to him as he turned on his heel to leave. He grit his teeth, feeling another wave of emotion overtake him. As he stepped outside the door, Sakura was still waiting there for him, her arms crossed over her chest sheepishly.

"Will she ever remember me again?" He asked simply.

"I don't know. She's got retrograde amnesia which can sometimes be permanent depending on the damage done to the brain. We couldn't fix it, no matter how much we tried. She doesn't remember me either. She doesn't remember Gai or Naruto or even Tsunade. She only remembers the village and a few bits and pieces that she can associate with it. Of course she remembers her name and her bookstore, but specific people and memories are essentially gone for now."

"So she's lost to us?"

"She can still get her memories back, but it will take time," she explained. "Sensei, I'm so sorry. None of us wished anything like this on you. I told Tsunade about the ring you were going to give her and the proposal, and we mourned for you. I'm so sorry." She felt so bad, and they did cry for him. They cried for the girl who got to keep her life but lost her soul.

"I have to get back to my apartment and clean up a few things," he dismissed, turning his head away from his student as well. He felt his heart clench in his chest as he walked away. The ring still sat deep in his pants pocket and he wanted nothing more than to throw it in the river.

He wished he was the one who forgot everything. Maybe this pain in his heart would subside. Maybe all the guilt would be washed away once and for all.

Part Two and Three are out.

#kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #naruto x reader #kakashi oneshot #kakashi fanfic #naruto one shot #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi imagine #naruto imagine #fluff #angst #the reader is a vert sweet and feminine girl and i hope that doesnt offend anyone

342 notes · View notes

moonlit-imagines · 4 years ago

Text

Headcanons for being Hope van Dyne’s child

Hope van Dyne x child!reader

Scott Lang x stepkid!reader

warnings: insects (ants), sharp weapons

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “Happy holidays darling! Would you write HC for Hope Van Dyne's child? Love the step-parents HC 🥰”

growing up as a lil smarty pants

grandpa hank was pretty proud, although he didn’t see you very much

once every few years

but he did tell you all these crazy stories about his adventures that you honestly thought were just fiction (until you were older)

“and i was as small as an ant, but i was still incredibly strong! remember that, kid. just because you aren’t as big as someone else doesn’t mean you can’t beat them” -hank

“y/n doesn’t need to be hearing those stories, hank” -hope

“why not? they have important life lessons in them!” -hank

“why does mommy call you ‘hank?’” -you

“because mommy hates grandpa, isn’t that right?” -hank

“okay, i think that’s enough of this visit. come on, y/n, time to go” -hope

your mom was very supportive of you, nonetheless

she wanted to be different from her dad

so she showed up to EVERYTHING

birthdays, sick days, tucking you in for bed, parent-teacher conferences, art shows, you name it

“here’s some tea, jellybelly. it’ll make your throat feel better” -hope

“mom, i think i’m dying” -you

“you’ll be fine” -hope, givin’ u a kiss on the forehead

life wasn’t like, extra crazy or anything. sometimes she’d bring you to work and honestly? darren cross didn’t seem like the worst guy. he even brought you whatever you might need if your mom was staying late at work

“hey, van dyne junior! i brought you a puzzle that might keep you busy for a while...and a happy meal from mcdonalds! let me know if you need anything else, me and your mom will just be in the lab for a little while” -darren

“thank you!!!” -you

uh huh, ur mom taught u manners!

anyways you started spending more time with your grandpa cuz they had a plan

thats when you found out that his “turning small” stories were not, in fact, bullshit

“wait grandpa...you actually did shrink as small as an ant?” -you

“why would i lie?” -hank

okay well cue you wanting to shrink down to ant size now it was your new aspiration

you did learn how to command ants tho!!!!!!

but unfortunately (or not so unfortunately) hank brought scott to the party

“hi!” -you, waking scott up

“what?!” -scott, jumping back against the headboard

“hi.” -you, staring at him “im y/n. these are my ants”

bullet ants were just crawlin around the place

“oh, that’s....that’s cool. any chance you could tell me where i am or how i got here” -scott

“wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy” -you, leaving abruptly

“are you bothering our guest?” -hope, watching you proudly nod “good job, jellybelly”

mom taught u how to punch 🥰🥰🥰

and let you use scott as a punching bag

but scott wasn’t like awful or anything he was just insufferable at times

“i think you’d like my daughter cassie. she’s weird and smart just like you” -scott

“did you just call me weird? mom, can i punch him again?” -you

“no no no! i meant weird in a good way! please dont hurt me anymore!” -scott

chasing him around the yard ready to ATTACK

hank had to tell u to cut it out

“dont tell them what to do” -hope

“someone has to” -hank

“excuse me? i parent y/n just fine, better than you ever did for me!” -hope

“do they do this often?” -scott

“every time they see each other but that’s not very much” -you

“hm...hey, do you like ice cream? specifically baskin robbins?” -scott

ur mom said “we do not associate with idiots ❤️” and then proceeded to associate with said idiots

scott did end up saving u from darren tho bc that mf tried to hold u hostage and scott was really not in the mood for that bullshit

“you alright, y/n?” -scott

“murder is okay, right?” -you

after that whole ordeal he and your mom were kinda a thing uh huh

and he introduced you to cassie!!! she was amazingly sweet and you could def see the family resemblance

“is this my new sibling?! i’ve always wanted one!” -cassie

“hey, me too!” -you

you hung out with her on a weekly basis, with or without scott

and mom and grandpa were working on a ✨special project✨

one you insisted on being apart of

“no, y/n, we can’t make you your own suit. you’re too young for this sort of thing” -hope

“pleaaaaase mom? i swear i’ll he responsible with it!” -you

“you’re mother is right, y/n. you’re just not ready yet. maybe someday, but not anytime soon” -hank

scott took you on family bowling trips yes he did

and just corny stepdad shit

but he went to germany and mom and him broke up and FF to two years later when you guys had finally reunited

“scott!! you asshole!!” -you, like this -> :)

“kiddo!! sorry to hear that!!” -scott, same energy

shading him the whole time

“ach mein gott” -you

“are you kidding me, y/n? i make one mistake. ONE” -scott

“you’re one mistake has caused me to live in MINIATURE HOMES” -you

“THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD THING” -scott

“WELL IT’S NOT” -you

“did you at least miss me?” -scott

“sicher habe ich” -you

“god dammit” -scott

surprise!! u kind of had a suit (for emergencies)

as a van dyne/pym, it was almost a necessity to know how to use pym particles

scott acted like a proud dad

“wow, you’re really doing it!!!” -scott

“halt die klappe” -you

“please stop” -scott, tearing up

finding out about ✨grandma✨

she possessed scott and touched ur face and told you that she was so excited to meet you but you didn’t know wtf was going on and you had the urge to smack scott but THANKFULLY you did not

“i have to meet her for real! let me help you guys!” -you

“okay” -hope

“what? really?” -you

“it’s about time we put your genius to good use” -hope

scott offered you a high five for that and u literally accepted it

“don’t get too happy, that was just an in-the-moment thing” -you, watching scott’s eyebrow raise “fine. you can have a hug”

okay okay well everything went okay and then half the world ~vanished~ including ur whole family but like cassie and her family took you in and you spent five years very alone and upset until one day cassie called you downstairs and whoopdedoo???? scott???????

“is my mom with you?” -you

“sorry, sport, she’s not...do you have your suit with you? we need to go on some...hero business” -scott

you missed scott a lot over the past 5 years, this really did cheer you up, even if it was just him

“how’ve you been holding up the past few years” -scott

“the world sucks, man” -you

“i can see that” -scott

he turned on some tunes for the two of you to enjoy otw to the avengers hq and it was probably the best memory you created since everyone disappeared

“wait, reach into the glove box” -scott

“oh, god, i hope there’s no rodents in here...” -you, reaching for a picture “is this..?”

“family photo!! you were little back then, i can’t believe how time flies. i mean, it flew really quick for me, the quantum realm is no joke” -scott

you were busy staring at the picture of your mom, you really missed her

busy ~saving the world~

and going to 2012 with scott

“hey uh just so you know, i might be able to make pym particles” -you

“‘might?’ and if we use faulty pym particles we ‘might’ die. would you like that?” -tony

“hey, back off, stark. they’re just trying to help” -scott

next thing u know ur in present day and THEN u actually got to hold the scepter bc scott let u

“im gonna stab you!!” -you

“no!!!” -scott

the other avengers, literally mourning natasha while you chase him around with a sharp weapon: 😧

okay after the place was destroyed u got to face mr. purple man and yo mama showed back up and saw you on the front lines

“y/n????” -hope

“mom????” -you

“scott!!!!” -scott

“really, scott? a shrek reference? now?” -you “...nice”

the reunion with your mom was short and sweet but you missed her forehead kisses and she gave you one immediately!!!! and she was crying but you were too bc damn

“listen, after this, we’re gonna have such a fun family night. i’m so sorry i couldn’t be there for you all this time” -hope

“mom, it wasn’t your fault...it was that purple bastard, let’s get him!” -you

“they grow up so fast...” -hope

i n s e c t f a m

insect fam killed it out there and then ✨attended tony’s funeral✨ together right after

that’s one solid family 😌💖

anyways time to celebrate a (halfway) return to normalcy

with your *sister* cassie and your mom and your...scott

you were just happy to all be together again, it’s been WAY too long

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisqueer // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @spideyandtheboys // @ghost-bich // @wonderful-writer // @of-a-chaotic-mind // @groovyfluxie // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @lxncelot //

351 notes · View notes

moth--blood · 3 years ago

Text

Rewatching IT Chapter One and this is what i wrote down in that time

• George's last word was him calling out to bill :(

• "is that how you wanna spend your summer? inside an arcade?" "beats spending it with your mother" i love them

• stan: *is reading from the book* "put the book back in my office, obviously ur not using it" bruh huh

• "hey eddie? are these your birth control pills?" "yeah, and im saving them for your sister -_-"

• "do you want one from me too mrs k? :D"

• DUDE THE LIBRARIAN JUST STARING AT BEN WITH THE BOOK SCENE MY GOD.

• "WOAH- henry!" the one redeeming character in Henry's lil possy and even then not that redeeming

• "not every fucking plant is poison ivy, Stanley"

• "have you ever heard of a staff infection? >:(" "*holding a stick* oh I'll show you a staff infection >:D"

• "..im fine. whats wrong with you?" "none of your business-" "theres a kid outside and he looks like someone killed him ;;-;;"

• god the first scene with Bev's dad is so fucking uncomfortable

• bev: *jumps off the cliff into the water* richie: "whAT THE FUCK-"

• ben: "cool, huh?" richie: "no :D"

• i think it would be interesting if they included the "*number of cents* for a blowjob" conversation Eddie has with the "homeless man" in the book into the movie, because that could lead a bit more into his character when we eventually get the confession in the second movie but i digress

• "wowowowowoah! what if her dad comes back?!" "do what you always do! start. talking. >:("

• oh my fucking god do i kin Ben.

• Eddie: "shut up richie" Stan: "yeah, shut up richie" Richie: "oOoooh, trash the trashmouth! >:("

• "wait- can only virgins see this stuff? ..is that why im not seein' this shit?" Richie Trashmouth Tozier my beloved

• "ROCK WAR! *gets it in the head with a rock*"

• and, of course, "go blow your dad you mullet wearing asshole!"

• i love the details of richie fighting the guy with the tuba ("fuck off dude! >:(") and then eddie giving him ice cream

• again: details man. eddie starts using his inhaler and Richie immediately looks over at him; when the slideshow starts going and shows IT richie reaches out to eddie and they're clinging onto each other until it "comes out of the projection"

• richie: "you guys are lucky we aren't measuring dicks" eddie: "shut up, richie."

• "beep beep richie :))"

• "dont let him get away" bill what the fuck.

• fuck u too Mrs K

• mike my dearly beloved

• okay Cinema Sins made this point before but this is such a good use of "Dear, God". its only the first verse but it portrays the emotion so well

• henry you leave that fucking cat alone you bitch. i hate you so much but i can admit your dads more of a dick than you are

• god i fucking hate her dad

• YEAAH KILL THE DICK

• "what sickness, ma?" YEAH EDDIE BABY YOU GOT THIS ILY

• i love how Mike brought the gun for the sheep with him. smart kid.

• i love the detail of Eddie going down the rope just like Bill did; it really shows his admiration for the guy, even if that admiration is limited because here its portrayed in film

• oh my god this scene the fucking dancing scene in the sewer this shit is so finny to me

• i love how mike basically just fucking murdered Henry

• oh my god stan honey nO BBY I SWEAR THEY STILL CARE ABOUT U

• "why isn't she waking up?!" ben honey

• .....i kin ben god fucking damnit

• "and now? im gonna have to kill this fucking clown. WELCOME TO THE LOSERS CLUB, ASSHOLE!"

• "i know what I'm doing for my summer experience essay." richie u little queer-coded mf i love you so much

• richie being the first to hug bill when he starts crying over georgies jacket :((

• oh god the dream/pact scene. ow. my heart. im already mourning for Eds and Stan ;-;

• the shot of the loser/lover cast im sobbing

• "I gotta go. ..i hate you. (smiles)" STANNNN

• not the kiss please bev ur getting blood on his face

#IT #it chapter one #bill denbrough #bev marsh #it richie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it eddie #horror #why did i take notes on a movie #stephen king

15 notes · View notes

wokestraightpuffy · 4 years ago

Note

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER? the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever.

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO)

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

* she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot.

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

#captain puffy #tea speaks #god this is so long the brainrot is concerning ANYWAY #clownon

42 notes · View notes

softjaehyvn · 4 years ago

Text

saudade ;; n. jm

genre ;; angst

part of the collab with @hangsxng

tw ;; car accident ; major character death !

Jaemin was happy. For the first time since he had lost you, he had been a wreck; none of his friends were able to check up on him because he simply didn't let them.

With time, he finally got used to the fact that you weren't there anymore, he finally opened up to his friends. He talked more with them; he spent more time with them.

From time to time, he had these moments where he was only connecting everything he saw to memories he had with you.

"What are you thinking of, Jaemin?"

He looked up to Mark. Jaemin only shook his head. "It's nothing. I just zoned out", he answered.

"Yeah, sure. Don't lie, Jaemin. You were thinking about her again, right?"

"Don't you dare to mention her!", Jaemin practically exploded as Donghyuck asked him about you. "I'm slowly getting over it and now you're here, mentioning her again. Do you want me to ghost you again?"

All the males shook their heads. It was a horrible time as Jaemin had been mourning all alone, not letting any of the boys help him and be there for him. They all knew how much he had loved you until the day, you had decided to leave him and then, drive around and not looking properly around you.

He would never forget how he had followed you with his car and saw how the black mini had crashed into you, both car's pieces flying around. He would never forget how he immediately stopped his car and ran out just to see you in your car, everywhere was so much blood.

He tried to pull you out of the car and as he finally did it, he looked at you. There were a few pieces of broken glass in your skin; Jaemin didn't want to know how much in pain you were.

"Jaemin."

He looked down on you as you weakly said his name.

"Shh, don't talk. Don't waste your energy. They already called the emergency. They will save you, baby, they have to."

You only shook your head.

"No. I don't want them to save me. I'm sorry for breaking your heart, Jaemin. I'm so sorry. I love you so much but I can't live with the knowledge that I hurt you. The reason why I broke up with you is that I cheated on you. For a few weeks. I'm sorry, Jaemin. please forgive me. I love you."

These were your last words before your body was only still, you didn't move at all nor breathed.

You were dead.

Jaemin let out a loud sob, he couldn't believe you would die right after you told him that you loved him.

"Y/N. Please, don't do this to me. Please", he cried out and softly shook your body. He was so helpless, he didn't know what to do. There was so much blood around him that he felt like he was going to throw up.

"Sir, you have to let her go. we have to do our job", someone told him and he looked up. He didn't realize what was going on and he only pulled you on his lap.

"I can't. I'm so sorry, I can't", he cried.

"I know, it hurts. but you have to, sir, we have to do our job", the man insisted. Finally, the man managed to get Jaemin away from you.

"Can I come with you? I... I need to say goodbye to her", his voice was shaky and his body was also shaking. The paramedic only nodded and accompanied him to the ambulance.

The whole drive to the hospital where everything was supposed to be finished up was a hell of a ride. Jaemin couldn't stop sobbing and he was sure that the driver was fed up with him at this point so he tried to keep it down as much as possible.

"Was she your girlfriend?", the man suddenly asked him, making him jolt up. Then he only nodded, wiping his tears away.

"Yeah.. we were together for around two years and she broke up with me today. She didn't say any reason so I followed her and ended up seeing that car crashing into hers", Jaemin answered.

"I'm sorry for your loss. I'm Yoonoh by the way. Friends mostly call me by my birth name Jaehyun but Yoonoh works too", the male introduced himself.

"Jaemin", he introduced himself.

"Aren't you that vocal ace from Seoul's Performing Arts University? the one who's like super famous around here and on social media?", Jaehyun chuckled.

"I'm not that famous", Jaemin laughed a little before he saw the bright lights around the hospital. Suddenly, he remembered everything again; the car crash, you admit that you broke up with him because you cheated on him, the blood around him, and you dying in his arms.

"So... here we are, I guess", Jaehyun sighed. "Do you want me to accompany you? I got some time now, I can be there with you if you want."

"No, thanks. But.. do you have your phone there? I forgot mine in my car", Jaemin then asked him and thanked the other male as he held the phone in his hands. He called Taeil at first.

"Who is this?", Taeil groaned into the microphone; he probably was already sleeping since it's past midnight already and Taeil had to work early the next day.

The second Jaemin heard his hyung's voice, he broke down into tears again.

"Hey, Jaemin. breathe in", the male on the other phone told him to and breathed in loudly, "and out."

Jaemin followed his instructions and felt calmer only a few moments later.

"Now tell me what happened."

Before he could talk, Jaehyun just took his phone again and told Jaemin that he could go to the morgue so the police could identify his girlfriend's identity.

"I'll explain what happened to her. You have to go. You're one of the few witnesses of the accident", Jaehyun had told him and Jaemin nodded.

Jaemin went inside the hospital and entered the elevator to go downstairs to the morgue. While he was waiting for someone to bring him to his now-dead girlfriend, he just sat down.

"Na Jaemin?", someone called his name. He looked up to see a man, standing in front of him.

"My name is Bang Chan. As I heard, you were the witness of the accident?" as Jaemin nodded, the man continued. "Can you tell me what exactly happened?"

Jaemin sighed softly, nodding then.

"I... fought with my girlfriend, Im y/n. She is one of the victims of the accident. She broke up with me, saying that she would never forgive herself for hurting me. I had no idea what she was talking about so I decided to follow her after she left my place. She kept on getting faster and suddenly, I only heard the crash. I stopped my car immediately and saw her between her seat and the airbag. It was very hard, but I somehow managed to pull her out of the car. I don't know who was at fault and caused the accident but this is what happened", he told the man.

Chan had been writing everything Jaemin told him down. "Thank you. could you follow me now to identify the body?", he asked Jaemin.

Jaemin got up and followed the young police officer. He was shaking as the man brought the first body and he closed his eyes, scared to see your dead body. But the body the officer showed him wasn't you. It probably was the other man who had also died because of the car accident. Jaemin shook his head.

"I don't know who this is. Never saw him", Jaemin said and breathed in deeply. He wasn't ready to see your dead body but he had to get over with it. Maybe it would help him to finally be able to realize that you're gone and that you would never be back. Never be able to cuddle him whenever he had a bad day. Never be able to kiss him when you just felt like it.

You were gone.

He finally realized that as Chan showed him the second body which was yours.

"That's her. That's my girlfriend. Y/N. I can give you the phone number of her older brother, Im Jaebeom", as the officer accepted, he pulled out his phone and told him the number.

"I'm fine. I am. I feel so much better after her death. But please, never mention her again. I can't handle that", Jaemin then said, he was much calmer than he was before and Donghyuck nodded.

"I'm sorry. I won't mention her again. Sorry for bringing up memories", Donghyuck apologized. Jaemin only shook his head and smiled.

"I'm okay."

main taglist ; @wownajaemin @n8dlesoupguk @winniet @loviehyuck

#nct #nct fanfiction #nct fluff #nct smut #nct angst #na jaemin #jaemin fluff #jaemin smut #jaemin angst #nct x reader #jaemin x reader #nct imagines #nct scenarios #tw car accident #tw blood

56 notes · View notes

honesthammie · 3 years ago

Text

Te amo

I am working on a few of the other prompts and a part 2 to prompt 4 the soulmate au I just recently got another puppy and I still have uni work to do so I'm a bit behind schedule with these and I'm so sorry. Hopefully this little kinda songfic makes up for it.

13th doctor x female reader

Warnings: swearing as usual, fluffy, sad thoughts, twist the original songs meaning, long as fuck.

Probably terrible as its my first songfic

I don't know much Spanish so some of the examples later on are Google translated and I know it can be wrong so I do apologise for any mistranslations

This is based off Rhiannas song Te Amo but I'm switching it up a little. I dont why 13th doctor came into my head when I was listening to it but it gave me this lil oneshot idea so enjoy! The picture is not mine but the rainbow effect added is done by me! Same for the picture later on.

I've been travelling with this amazing alien for a whole year now. The adventures are always amazing if she's there! The others sometimes complain and say its boring, especially on a junk planet but to see her face light up with excitement makes my day and it well worth the dirt we cover ourselves on by the time we are done. And when she finds something that she thought was useful and it turns out, it's not her scrunch is amazing.

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in love with this alien. I know, weird, a human and an alien together? But I can't help it! I'm completely besotted with her. If she even looks in my direction, my legs go to jelly and I get butterflies. I know, cheesy. But thats exactly how I feel around her. I barely want to touch her because I nearly fainted the last few times. And I fear she may pick up on how I'm distancing myself from her. I don't want to break her heart and leave, the thought of her look kills me as is so I'm trying to get her to kick me off.

It doesn't seem to be working though. I've been distancing myself since I found out about how I feel, which is now 6 months ago and she's trying to get me to be as close as I was with her.

I'll tell her. On one of our amazing adventures but I can't do it straight forward, it's making me sick with anxiety just thinking about it. I'll fancy it up, make her work it out. Whenever we are next to each other and the moment is right, I'll tell her in another language!

I finally get out of bed after I finished writing in my diary. I slip some comfy clothes on and head out to the TARDIS library and hope no one is there, especially her. I'll be distracted and right now, I need to concentrate. I wonder the warm halls, grateful that the TARDIS had considered my preferences. I think the TARDIS likes me more than the others because I talk to her and show her gratefulness for taking us somewhere amazing and I chat to her regularly and I try to involve her in my conversations. The others find it weird, except for the Doctor, she just smiles and joins in with me. Im still learning how to translate her but I think I've sort of got it.

I reach my hand forward and grab the aged bronze doorknob and open to the giant room. There were so many floors that an elevator had to be used to access some of them as the Doctor said "walking would literally take weeks to reach some floors". Thankfully the TARDIS organises them to make them easier to find. I looked forward and saw an interactive map in front of me. My hands touched the screen and many subjects and categories came up. Anything ranging from kiddie tales to straight up smut, I have a feeling either River or Missy are to blame for that addition.

I've never met them but the TARDIS showed me videos from her database and brought books to my attention about them. They both seem very dirty minded people so I'm not surprised those are there. I wonder if the Doctor has ever stumbled upon this section or is it for none Doctor eyes only? If she does know about them, has she ever read one? No, don't go there you stupid brain! She probably doesn't know!

I quickly stop that train of thought and catch my breath. I've never thought about those kinds of things about anyone before. Stupid Timelord, making me go all weird and think dirty things. Now my face is all red, I really hope I'm alone in here. I quickly focus back to the task at hand, finding a new language to learn. The TARDIS seemed to know where to go and blue arrows appeared, guiding me to the right section in what could be a maze.

As I walking, I felt excitement rise within me. What if she felt the same way? What if she was impressed by how far I wanted to go just to say those 3 words? Would her hazel honey eyes sparkle with delight? Would she scronch her nose in amazement?

Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the language learning section and there were many alien languages but the TARDIS seemed to have a better idea of what would be perfect for me as a white hardback book fell off the 4th shelf onto the wooden floor. I picked it up and noticed how smooth the cover was and how old yet unused it looked. The white was a little off, almost a dull cream from ageing which made the gold writing harder to read. The title was simple:

Spanish basics and need to knows.

I did always find Spanish in school fun to learn, more than French or German anyway and I don't wanna stereotype this into a typical French is the language of romance. I never really found it romantic sounding compared to Spanish.

I picked up the book and quickly flicked through to the right page and took a note on my phone as to what the translation was and put the worn book away. I quietly thanked the TARDIS and rushed out of the library and back into my room where I could practice without getting caught.

A few weeks have passed since I picked up the new words and practiced them until I was confident and had the TARDIS' approval that I was saying it right. Today the Doctor wanted to take us to this party in the 18th century and we all decided to dress for the part once we landed.

Yaz was wearing a beautiful black and red ballroom gown, accented with little bows around the bottom and lace cuffs. She had her black hair curled into a ponytail. It was simple and cute, much like her style normally. Graham and Ryan wore similar suits but Graham wore green accents and Ryan wore yellow accents.

I let the TARDIS pick my dress. She picked a black and dark blue ballroom gown with blue roses on the bottom. It had black lace underneath and blue lace as the cuffs. The gown also seemed to glitter slightly in the light making me sparkle very subtly. I put my comfy boots on as you couldn't see my shoes as I walked anyway so why did it matter? With all the running we do, I'm not risking my ankles with heels, thank you very much. I had my (h/c) hair in (fave style). It suited my dress perfectly.

I nearly choked on oxygen when I saw how hot the Doctor looked in her suit. It took me a few moments to realise we match. We both blushed at the realisation. Of course the TARDIS makes us match! No wonder why she was more than eager to help me pick an outfit! Stupid sentient ship, shipping us already!

I quickly cleared my throat and complimented everyone on how amazing they looked but I just couldn't take my eyes off the Doctor for long. She was like a magnet for my eyes. Someone help before she realises!

"Don't we all look brilliant? Perfect for the party! 18th century Yorkshire to be exact! What a great century for you guys. Now then, this party is for Nobles and higher, as per usual in these times. Ryan, I suggest you keep in mind about any racist comments that may come out. But as long as you say your Graham's personal butler, you should be welcomed with little resistance. And Yaz, I want you to be (y/n)'s personal maid. That does mean you'll have to follow your so called "masters" around and do anything they ask unfortunately and Graham, (y/n), please act like the others around you and use them. Unfortunately this is the only way all 5 of us can join the party. You'll be fine as long as you bite your tongues. Now the Noble Edward Collins is the host so be sure to thank him for inviting you, even though you technically weren't. And try not to get too drunk, I know what you humans are like! Now follow me." The Doctor explained. I was going to tell the Doctor today, but I guess, I'll have to wait.

The Doctor opened the doors and we were in a cupboard under some gorgeous marble stairs. As we walked towards the party I noticed some family portraits along the walls. They were a very beautiful looking family. The mother had long blonde hair and pale blue eyes. The father was buff, long brown hair and daring brown eyes. There were two children, a girl and a boy. The girl had long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, whilst the son had blonde hair and brown eyes. They also had a brown greyhound dog laying by the sons feet. The son must be the host, Edward. He looked not much older than 10 in the last painting but the daughter was no where to be found in the portrait and theu all looked mournful. Is she dead and is that the picture capturing the moment of grief? Why would anyone want that? It's so strange, even for this time period.

The Doctor held me and Yaz close, stopping us in our tracks. My heart was racing at the simple touch. But as soon as the touch was there, it was gone. "I hope its okay with you (y/n) but you're going to have to be married to someone."

My heart stopped for a moment and I nearly choked on air. "What? Why?"

"Because women like yourself would have been married as young as 13 or 14. Now your only choices are me and Graham. You can't choose Ryan as he's supposed to be a butler and you can't choose Yaz as she's your maid. The choice is yours, I just need to know wether or not I should refer to you as my darling wife or not?"

What. The. Fuck.

Why did her even calling me that l, turn me on? Obviously, I'm going to choose her but I'm going to have to perfect my reasoning here.

"As much as I love Graham, it's going to be awkward if I have to kiss him or anything because he's like my grandad! I guess you'll do Timelord. Come on then husband, we don't want to be late to the dancefloor!" I spoke clearly hoping she didn't notice how excited I actually was to have even a hint of a relationship with her. It may be fake but ill take anything when it comes to her.

We arrived at the welcome committee and handed our cards over, aka the psychic paper. We were going as Mr and Mrs (last name). The Doctor was holding my hand this entire time and it's driving me insane. I don't know if she can feel my racing pulse under her fingers but if she can I hope she puts it down to excitement! We walked down the most grandest staircase you would ever lay your eyes on.

First we walked around, greeting everyone as they came up to us or if she dragged me to someone she knew, but not personally. She was cute when she was fangirling over these people. Yaz found it annoying as she just wanted to party but I couldn't help it. The way her eyes shimmer with recognition was more beautiful than any galaxy she could ever take us. Sometimes her eyes flickered with admiration and it did make me have jealousy for just a moment before I remembered, I'm staying with her and they aren't .

As the party moved on we met the host Edward. He looked a lot different than in his paintings. He was around 20 years old now and his blonde hair was below his shoulders. He looked a lot like his father with his muscley build. And he was very charismatic which I did not like as he poured all his charm into the Doctor. Does everyone here know that he's gay or does he see through the Doctors disguise? Either way, it was rubbing me the wrong way. I quickly excused myself with Yaz and walked into the bathroom.

"I did not like him. I do not like this Edward guy. Something about him rubs me completely wrong. He's handsome but something is telling me he knows the Doctor isn't a man."

"I felt the same way. He knows something we don't. Before we go out there again, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Yaz asked. My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour. She knows. The jig is up with Yaz. "How do you feel about her, honestly? One minute you 2 are inseparable, then you distance yourself and now you are a nervous wreck around her! I won't judge but I just want to make sure my theory is correct."

Shit. I guess I really was obvious. Does she know?

"If your theory is about me falling hopelessly in love with the Doctor then you'd be correct. I can't help it. I'm going to tell her how I feel without being completely stupid. I just need a right moment to say it." I spoke with a heavy sigh. Hopefully, Yaz can help create that moment thay I need. She nods her head and opens the door. We walk back to the Doctor and notice Edward has gone to other guests and she was talking to Graham. I looked around and saw Ryan flirting with a pretty lady near the food table. Why am I not surprised?

A few hours had passed and the Doctor seemed bored with standing and talking so I made a plan in my head. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the dancefloor as the next song came on. I didn't quite know how to dance properly but I knew the basics if it. She has to lead and I simply follow suit. It took a few moments but I got the hang of it with the Doctors help. Soon we were dancing so gracefully underneath the most beautiful candelabra that lit up her face perfectly.

Her hair swayed to our perfect dance ever so gently. Her eyes sparkled with amusement and her lips were in a permanent smile. She even laughed a couple of times. Then as the music slowed down to a pace that was perfect, I grabbed her waist and looked her. My heart was going crazy and my legs were about to buckle but I had rehearsed my lines. I can do this.

"Hey Doc. Its been an amazing time with you but I can't continue this without being honest with you. But everytime I get close, I back down in fear. So I'm going to let you figure it out. Doctora te amo. Entiendo que si no sientes lo mismo y me iré si quieres. (Doctor i love you. i understand if you don't feel the same way and i'll leave if you want.)" I spoke with as much passion and intention as I could. I looked into her eyes and saw her confused and trying to work out what I said. I would find it cute if my heart was beating right out of my chest. "Well, I've had a great time but I'm fucking knackered. I'm calling it night. I'll be heading to the TARDIS if you need me."

"I'll come with ya. I'm knackered as well and we both need each other to undo the corsets and mine is starting to hurt a little bit. How we used to do this for a full day, everyday, is beyond my understanding. As beautiful as we look, I don't think its worth the pain this will bring in the morning." Yaz spoke with a slight mumble as proof of her mental state and finishing with a yawn. I chuckled at her state and walked back to the TARDIS with a small amount of chat along the way.

She is right though. These corsets really do hurt you after a while, I'm glad I chose not to wear heels or else I'll be fucked for in the morning. I would literally scream. I think the Doctor had the right idea in wearing a suit, no pain. I do feel bad for leaving her but I just need some space after basically admitting everything that's been built up within me for too damn long. Maybe I should tell Yaz how it went and maybe she can help determine if the Doctor is happy or not.

We walked back into the wardrobe room and I helped Yaz out of her corset. She immediately sighed in relief. She finished getting herself into comfy clothes and started to untie my ribbon.

"So did you tell her?"

"Sort of. I basically told her everything but in Spanish. I just hope it doesn't change anything, except in a positive way, of course! If she wants me gone, I've told her that it's fine and I understand. She's very socially awkward and as cute as I find it, it may not help me in this situation. Do you have any clues on how she may react once she figures it out?"

Yaz stopped untying my corset for a moment and placed 1 finger upon her chin in thought. Her eyes were almost shut and seemed almost completely black in the light. After what seemed like forever, she took her finger off her chin and beamed a toothy smile. Her eyes sparkled as she remembered something and seemed to gleam slightly menacingly. A smirk replaced her smile soon after.

"There's a few times she's shown affection towards you. And I mean romantic affection. She always chooses to hold your hand over anyone else's if given the choice. She always steps I'm front of you when an enemy threatens to kill us all or hurt us in anyway. When you go wandering around on your own, she's terrified thats she's lost you forever to an enemy we don't even know of!" Yaz starts explaining carefully as if she's worried on how to word it.

"Those are just friendly affec-"

"I wasn't done. I was warming up." Yaz interrupts me as I was about to go into a self deprecating speech on how I'm just a friend to everyone and never a lover. "She always looks to see your face on adventures because she secretly loves your reactions, bad or good. When the Master revealed himself, she looked straight at you for support on how she should react. When she came back from the Kasavin, she ran straight to you and made sure you were ok first before any of us. When we were in the Tsungra medical ship, the first person she asked for was you! Whilst she was unconscious on board the ship, she kept mumbling your name, over and over again. When she saw how gorgeous you looked today, I thought she'd take you right there on the spot! She fucking loves you (y/n)! You're just so unbelievably blind to it all!"

Yaz was almost red with rage. Did she really do all that, for me? The TARDIS mustve read my mind and seemed to hum positively in reply. If everything Yaz said is true then she'll be so happy about it and maybe we can be a thing! But then again, maybe losing so many in a similar position as me will turn her away. Maybe her soul is awry and she's asking why right now.

Once I had gotten changed I went to sleep almost straight away, I suppose all that dancing and social ques having tired me out more than I thought.

I woke up to a soft knock on my door. I rubbed my (e/c) eyes and told them I'd be a few minutes as I've only just woken up. It wasn't until I finished brushing my (h/c) hair that I remembered what happened yesterday. All the panic rushed within me at once and I nearly threw up. I took several deep breaths and opened the door.

"GRAHAM THANK FUCK ITS YOU!" I almost shouted at him. He looked a little bewildered for a moment before he seemed to remember what brought him here in the first place.

"Hello Love, I'm here because Doc wanted to speak with you privately in the library. She says that the TARDIS will guide you to her location. She seemed a little off after you and Yaz left. Did something happen? Is everything ok?" Graham asked cautiously. He must be so confused.

"Sort of. I'll explain more when I get back but what do you mean by "a little off"?"

"Well she seemed lost in all sense of the word. She kept muttering "Te Amo" all the time. She was all over the place aswell. She got me and Ryan back here not long after you guys. Something about not trusting Ryan to not get alcohol poisoning without her around. She hasn't really left the library since if I'm honest. She's been in there for 12 hours. I only know she wants you because she whattsapped me on my phone. Whatever is going on, please sort it out, she's starting to really worry me. She hasn't been the same since that Master guy came around." Graham spoke clearly, albeit confused. I nodded my head and walked in the opposite direction to him and hoped the TARDIS would take me there quicker than normal. I want to treat this like a plaster, rip it off in one go.

Sooner than I realised, I grabbed the all too familiar door knob of the library. I took a deep breath and walked in. A blue line appeared towards the interactive map. I awakened the console and I saw a black screen with a few words on it. It looked like a message with how it was presented.

Hello (y/n)! Don't walk until you calm. Breath deeply and try not to panic. I promise you, all will work out in the end. I see more than you realise and I know my thief better than anyone whoever stepped foot into my being. I know of her main problem about the situation. If she loves you, drink this. It won't hurt, she'll know what it is.

The TARDIS

I should have been surprised by this new knowledge that she could speak to me, in a way, but I've seen so much and I am so tender hooks so I didn't take much notice of it. I quickly sat down and tried to control my breathing. After about 5 or so minutes, I felt calm enough to finally meet up with her and hear what she has to say.

I followed the blue line carefully until I spotted her in a comfy room. She mustve gotten changed at some point as she was wearing her usual rainbow outfit, minus the jacket. She was sat on a deep purple sofa, legs curled into her body. Her shoes were on the carpeted floor underneath her, seemingly forgotten for the moment. There were many books surrounding us from many cultures and spieces. One wall had a cozy wood burning fireplace crackling within the silence that surrounded us.

Her face was scrunched within deep thought. Her eyes sparkling with an emotion that I couldn't quite put my finger on; hope, sorrow or excitement? Her lips had a small smirk gracing them and her teeth had bitten a small part of it. Her hands were holding a book in a way where I couldn't quite see what it was.

I didn't want to disturb her as she looked so ethereal with the warm glow of the fire highlighting her in the perfect way. Unfortunately, it's plaster time and I wanted this sorted sooner rather than later. I took a deep breath took in the picture for memory.

"Hey, Graham said you wanted to talk to me? Is everything ok?" I asked gently and as softly as I could so she was carefully brought out of her little world. I didn't want to scare her. She raised her eyes from her book for a moment and bookmarked the page she was at with a little TARDIS paperclip. She placed the book on the table at the side of her and patted the seat next to her.

As I sat down my nerves were through the roof. She gave nothing away as she stared at me for a minute, as if assessing something about me.

"Why are you so nervous? Calm down. You are right, It is to do with last night. You left pretty abruptly after basically confessing your feelings to me. I was so confused, not just about what you said but about myself and what I wanted to do about you." The Doctor spoke monotonously. Did she mean get rid of me? "I had to first of all, find out what you said, well done on learning a new language by the way, one even I'm not fluent at. I'm guessing the old girl had something to do with that idea. Not that, you aren't smart enough but you don't know what languages I do or don't know."

The Tardis seemed to chuckled at the accusation and I simply nodded my head. "I wanted to buy myself time and to impress you."

"You impressed me a long time ago Miss (l/n). That is just a cherry on top. After I figured out what you said, no thanks to my old friend here, I went through a lot of thinking. I've not been in many relationships and you know my history regarding the ones I have been in. You know, River and Missy? And I have such a bad past with it ending in nothing but tears for me. I always lose those I care for deeply." She spoke with tears spilling from her gorgeous eyes. I grabbed her face gently and wiped away the stray tears that managed to escape their home.

"That was when you were a man. You're a woman now, everything is so different. Relationships can be heartbreaking. I know what you're main problem is and the TARDIS has a solution to that. I just need you to tell me the truth. How do you feel about me? Do you want me to stay or not?" I stated holding the small shot glassed amount of liquid in my hand. The liquid was golden and sparkled slightly in the light. There were specks of orange and silver within it and it was as hot as a nice cup of (hot drink). Her eyes sparkled with hope and shock. Her lips were smiling wide. And she seemed to giggle at the sight of it. She held it for a moment as if examining it like a rare artefact, maybe it was. Either way, I trust her judgement and if she's happy about it, then so am I. Once she had analysed the drink, she practically leapt into my arms and pushed me down on my back. She smelled of custard creams and the TARDIS which was odd but completely her and I couldn't imagine her smelling any other way.

"That does solve our problem! What she has just given you is the rarest liquid in the universe seeing as only one thing in the entirety of space can produce it. That drink is known as the nectar of the chosen ones. It's rare as the race that used to make them has practically gone extinct. There's only 3 left in the known universe and you're living in one. That drink is the blood of the TARDIS. It grants you immortality if you drink it. It is said to resemble your favourite beverage no matter who you are. However, it only lasts 100 years and you must drink it every century or else your body clock will kick in and you will age and be as mortal as you are now." She speaks with a warning as we sit up holding holds.

"I have no problem with that. I would sacrifice everything if it meant I got to call you mine. Just please tell me and I'll drink it." I told her with adoration in my eyes.

She held me close and planted a soft and gentle kiss to my lips. It was short but it sent more fireworks than you can imagine through my body. I knew I had found her. She grabbed my waist and whispered next to my ear:

"Te Amo"

#13th doctor #thirteenth doctor x reader #13th doctor x reader #female reader

31 notes · View notes

silveanna · 4 years ago

Text

Hello World

Na jaemin x fem!reader, Feat. 00 liners

Summary: Wait, humans suddenly disappeared? well isn’t it fun? you get to do whatever you want now but no one will be there for you anymore. You’re completely alone in a world that seems to be dead but is that Really it?

It’s been hours since you woke up, you’ve been wandering around the city but you haven’t met a single person yet. You also checked your phone but all your contacts, photos and all the files in it are gone, there is also no signal. It was quiet, too quiet it was hurting your ears. There’s no wind or any birds chirping and especially, the people are gone, it feels like the world isn’t alive at all. “i swear if i’m in Alice in borderland, im going to kill myself” you said.

You went to the mall market but the food seems to be expired already, seriously for how long did they disappeared? but at the fruit aisle there were still a few fresh fruits, you weren’t a big fan of fruits, you hate it but you have no other choice, all the foods are expired even if it isn’t you don’t know how to cook at all. Well, you can cook instant noodles and eggs but that’s all.

And of course because you’re alone, you jump on the beds at the furniture aisle while singing “five little monkeys jumping on the beds” not until you heard a loud thud nearby, you quickly hide under the blanket. Minutes passed nothing happened, maybe something just accidentally fell. Yeah ACCIDENTALLY

Months have passed, everyday feels the same, like you’re on a loop it’s sickening, are you really alone? or maybe your just dreaming. You tried pinching your arm, it hurts but nothing changed the world is still empty... dead. You’re running out of food, Your gonna die alone, no one is going to mourn your death. “Oh god oh god..” you pulled your hair and cried.

“I don’t want this, i didn’t ask for this.. I miss everyone” you said and hugged your knees.

“Here”

“Huh?” you immediately looked up, a guy with jet black hair beside you is offering you a handkerchief, you ignored it and wiped your tears with your hands, he looks away and puts the handkerchief back in his pocket. There’s a lot of stuff running in your mind right now, you feel happiness, sadness, and anger at the same time. You snapped out of your thoughts when he waved his hand in-front of your face. “I think they forgot us and went to mars” he joked but it didn’t move you.

You were too busy scanning every inch of his face, why the fuck he looks so healthy compared to me.. maybe he’s a robot?

He was in the middle of talking when you suddenly poked his cheek, “oh wow you’re real” you said, he laughed and removes your finger away form his face. “Yes I am real”

You keep asking him about everything, he tries his best to answer your questions. “Before all of this, i like being alone, it relaxes me, you know just vibing with myself but not this alone” he explained.

“I know, waking up thinking it was another normal day and the next thing you knew the people are gone, I might have you now but you might suddenly disappear too or me. Back then I’m scared to die, cause when you die you can’t do anything you want anymore, it’s just like dreaming forever, but for me this is worse” You said.

He took your hands and looked at you in the eyes, it was beautiful but the person who have it is sad. He wanted to changed that “Let’s make the most of it while we still have each other, I’m Jaemin by the way you?” He smiled.

His smile was beautiful and calming, almost like a free therapy, it made your heart skipped a beat “I’m y/n” . And so you two did, you shared each other’s favorite stuffs, read books together, danced in an empty street while raining, watched the sunset, played board games, and put on some expensive clothes and pretended like you guys are in a fashion runaway.

“You see that three stars together? My mom said those are the three Kings, oh there’s the orion!” You said pointing in the starry sky, you and jaemin are stargazing on top of a hill. He stares at you lovingly while you keep telling him about the meanings of each constellation you point out in the night sky. “I love you” he said out of nowhere causing you to stop.

You looked at him, his eyes sparkling “I love you too you know that” you said.

“No like LOVE love” he clear up.

Jaemin looked away, “It’s fine I can wait, I have all the time in the world”

Silence..

“It’s not like there’s someone who’s going to stole yo-“ when he looks back at your spot you were gone, it was as if you had suddenly disappeared like a bubble. “Y/n?” He stands up and starts looking around for you, his breath getting heavy, his vision starts to get blurry as tears formed on his eyes. Jaemin dropped on his knees and looked down. Just when things started to be fun, one had to disappear. Now he’s all alone again.

•••

You slowly opened your eyes, your vision cleared up and a white ceiling is the first one that greeted you. You felt a dextrose which is injected into your right hand. Wait, what are you doing in a hospital? you were like fine seconds ago.. and where’s Jaemin?

A woman entered the room, she looked middle aged based on her hair which has a few white strands. You were surprised when she suddenly jumped in joy when she saw you were awake, she fishes her phone out of her pocket and dials someone’s number. “Honey come here! our daughter is finally awake!” after that she cuts the line and hugged you. “Mom?” you said. She cares your hair softly “Im glad you can still remember me, i’ll go get the doctor wait here okay?” you nodded.

Your mom leaves the room, you sat there in silence. Was is it all a dream or am i in another dream right now? what about Jaemin?

Soon the doctor arrived with your mom, no, with your whole family. The doctor asked you a few question and you answered them effortlessly, “Your daughter is doing fine now, we can arrange her documents so she can leave in few days, and i recommend to let her rest for three days before going back to business.” the doctor explained.“Thanks doc” you heard your dad said, the doctor nodded and leaves the room along with their nurse.

“I don’t remember what happened, how did I ended up here?”you asked, they all sat beside your bed. Your mom held out your hand and rubs it with her thumb. “You got hit by Car, you were comatose for 8 months we thought we were going to lose you” Your dad explained. You forced a smile, you don’t know what to do in this kind of situation so you just looked down.

You looked up after you felt your stomach growl, “can i go to the cafeteria? im hungry”you requested.

Your mom accompanied you to the cafeteria while your dad and older brother decided to stay in your room, you were surrounded by a lot of people you felt different. You want to tell your family about what happened and especially Jaemin but they might think your silly. While your mom is ordering food, you are looking for an empty seat. You weren’t paying much attention infront of you and bump into someone, luckily they catches you before you kiss the floor.

“sorry i’m so sorry i wasn’t looking” you apologized.

“no no it’s fine i wasn’t either” the guy smiled, he felt familiar, it feels like you already met him but where? “oh wait y/n? it’s you, glad you already woke up!” he said and hugged you.

“i’m sorry you are?”

“i’m Jeno, we’re classmates remember?, i came here to visit you and visit my friend jaemin also-”

“Jaemin? did you just say Jaemin? where is he? is he okay? wait is he here? please tell me it’s just high fever or he works here?”you asked.

“Oh Y/n there you are, let’s eat?” Your mom interprets the conversation, “he’s in room 25, 10th floor meet me there” Jeno said and left.

“So Jeno’s here too?” Your mom asked.

“Yeah he’s supposed to visit me but we met here so he’s off to his friend now” you explained, you were happy to hear that Jaemin’s here but felt guilty after you remembered you suddenly left him at the hill.

After you finished eating with your mom, you told her you’re going to room 25, she still accompanied you there but she just waited outside the room. When you got inside you immediately saw Jaemin sleeping peacefully in his hospital bed with his life support. He’s sleeping, does that mean he’s still in that world? Alone?

There are tears trailing down from your cheeks as you approach his unconscious body, “h-how long has he been like this?” you asked Jeno, he stood beside you and pats your back even though he has no idea how you knew his bestfriend. “3 years, brain infection”

That night you prayed a thousand times, hoping that in your sleep you would return to that world to be with Jaemin again and tell him you love him too. Eventually you got there, to the place where you guys usually hang out but you didn’t met him, you looked around for him but you couldn’t even see his shadow. Or any trails he left behind. He just disappeared like you did before. Morning came, afternoon, evening, a day, and a week. You didn’t woke up. You were trapped in there again.

Kicking a can out of your way as you took a road to god knows where, you lost count on how long you’ve been trapped but it almost felt like a year or more “I wonder if Jaemin already woke up”

“He hasn’t” you turned around and saw a very tall figure of a man wearing black suit, “But he will, just not now. I believe your time is up miss” you took a few steps back away from the man. “Haha very funny, I know you’re just trapped here just like me” you said and started to walk again. “What you call ‘here’ is where lost souls go who still have a chance to live but you don’t, your brain is starting to shut down and the doctors back in the real world are trying to save you with a defibrillator” he explained. You stopped in your tracks. So now you’re dying? you haven’t pretty much done all your goals in life yet.

“I-I’ll go back! I will woke up!”

“Haha we’ll see miss, three days, I will give you three days, if i still spot you wandering around here you have no choice but to come with me” he smirked, he snapped his fingers and poof! he was nowhere to be seen.

•••

“You seriously don’t remember her?”

“No... why? Do I have to?” Jaemin sipped his black coffee.

“I don’t know, it’s just that after she woke up she went to see you, she was crying it’s kinda...unfair”Jeno explained, ever since Jaemin woke up Jeno’s been trying to tell everything about you but it doesn’t ring any bell to him. “Unfair? What? It’s my fault if i can’t remember her? I’ve been asleep for 5 years and so is she, how the hell— argh nevermind” Jaemin face palms himself.

“C’mon Jeno don’t force him to this, he can’t be stressed” Renjun said.

“Yeah yeah right sorry” Jeno apologized.

They all went back to their business, silence filled the room. Renjun and Haechan are focused on their phones, Jeno looking outside the window, and Jaemin drinking his favorite drink. Jaemin was dozing off until a certain memory from his dream played in his mind. He was in an empty grocery store with a girl, everything was clear except her face, her voice was also mute. “I like canned bread, it’s kinda good” Jaemin said out of nowhere.

His friends looked at each other in confusion and back at Jaemin, Haechan scoffs “since when have you eaten canned bread?”

Jaemin’s unable to answer, he swear he have. Jaemin shruggs “Nevermind”.

12:30 pm, Renjun and Haechan already left since they still had school tomorrow. Same as for Jeno, he’s just waiting for Jaemin’s mom to arrive so he could go home, he didn’t want to leave his dear friend alone. The Tv is on shopping channel, the air conditioner was off but it’s still cold. They couldn’t sleep. As Jaemin spaces out, he hears this familiar voice of that girl again, she was singing. It was annoying and relaxing him at the same time, he couldn’t understand why he feels such feeling towards a girl who only lives inside his head or is she really? Her face is still blurry but he can finally hear her voice loud and clear. “Hey little train we are all jumping on..the train that goes to the kingdom...” Jaemin sang quietly.

“Where did you heard that?” Jeno ask.

“Someone... I don’t know” Jaemin replied, Jeno shook his head and puts his attention back to his phone. It keeps happening, Jaemin saying things out of nowhere, facts about him that sounds fake but aren’t , its just that, it didn’t happened in reality. “I used to hear y/n sing that a lot when she still attends school, it’s kinda annoying to hear the same lines over and over again but, her voice is beautiful.” Jeno shared.

silence...

“I want to see her, that girl you keep blabbering about, I want to see her” jaemin said.

“But you’re still not allowed to leave your bed until the doctors said so?”

“Do you think I care? I’ve been in this bed for 5 years it’s time to get up” Jaemin hops down the bed and puts his slippers on, he goes at the door and peeks outside. “There’s no one around let’s go” he says. The hallway was empty and quiet, the nurse who was appointed at the receptionist desk was in deep sleep. It was so easy for the boys to wander around without staffs standing in their way.

There’s no one inside y/n’s room at the moment, she was still unconscious, a nasal cannula place around her nose as it gives her oxygen. “She got hit by car, woke up after 8 months and went to see you, she didn’t woke up again after that” Jeno explains.

Jaemin held your hand, it was cold as ice, i never met you but how come i feel like i already knew you like the back of my hand?

•••

“I can’t decide whether I should take her or not, I’m already late for my given deadline argh” the black suit guy whom you met earlier was watching you from afar kick a vending machine again and again, you weren’t hungry or anything, well you can’t feel any hunger anymore, you’re just an empty lost soul who’s not yet ready to go. “Something is holding her back, like a thin red string attached on her back that trails back to the real world” he rest his head on his palm.

He teleported right in front of you, “it’s only day one what are you doing here?” You ask him.

“Listen missy, I’m just doing my job okay? Just come with me and you’ll be at peac—“ he was cut off when he hears a heartbeat, your heart beat. It was purple and it’s glowing, “what’s happening? What’s happening?!” You shook him.

“Hold on hold on, I’ll get my handbook” he snapped his finger and an old big brown book appeared out of nowhere, he used his powers to flip the pages until it gets to the page he was looking for. He puts his glasses on and reads the text. “Well it seems like your not coming with me anymore, any moment now you’ll come back to the real word BUT you won’t remember everything” he explains.

“Is it temporary? Like after a long time I will regain my memories?”

“I’m afraid not, but at least you’re coming back” the grim reaper hears you sigh,he looks away and flicks your forehead. “ah! what was that for?” you glared at him while rubbing the spot he just flicked. “I did it so you won’t lose your memories, it’s against the rules but it’s my first time doing it so i guess i won’t get fired entirely. Maybe just a few punishments” he shruggs.

“why? why did you cross the line?”

“i want to see how it’s all going to end... don’t worry much kid, i have other back up jobs”

5 days later

“Finally! shit!” You cheered, you’ve lost count on how many tissues you used to remove the ink from your face. 3 minutes before you woke up someone’s kid got inside your ward and drew on your face. Your family was crying and laughing at you at the same time, you were confused at first until your brother handed you a mirror. You dump all the tissues at the trash and went out the bathroom, you were with your brother at the moment because your parents are still at work. 3 more days before you’ll finally be discharge and another 3 days for you to rest at home before going back in action.

You went to the couch where your brother was peacefully sleeping, he’s pretty much also knocked out because of work. You don’t want to disturb him anymore, so you went outside to look around, it’s boring if you just stayed in your room. You found a large garden at the ground floor and went in there, the sunlight is illuminating the whole garden, it just rained a while ago so it looks like there are crystals glued to every plant and flower. All of it shines beautifully. The place looks like those beautiful sceneries in anime’s. Back then at that world everything looks cold, lifeless, almost looks like grey.

You went to the main spot of the garden, the wishing fountain. “Hey little train wait for me.. i was held in chains but now im free” you sang, you stare at your reflection from the water and tucked a strand behind your ear. “I’m hanging in there don’t you see?” out of nowhere, you heard someone whispered the lyrics, you got startled because of it and fell towards the fountain. What if it’s a ghost? You’re in a hospital after all.

“Oh my god i’m so sorry! here let me help you up”

“Good thing i have-- Jaemin?! wait, is that really you?” your eyes widen, you feel your heart beat faster and got goosebumps. He wasn’t wearing a hospital gown anymore, that means he got discharged before you did.

He giggled “why don’t you poke my cheeks again like you did last time?”

33 notes · View notes

angelmichelangelo · 4 years ago

Text

i’m about five years too late and nobody asked for this except me and i need to just get this out of my brain because it’s 2am so here’s a list of things i wish happened on glee that didn’t HERE WE GO:

- new directions being actual teenagers. just them hanging out. going to group sleepovers. giant study sessions (because school exists in this universe?) like remember in tpp when they were eating lunch together ? that’s what i wanted MORE of. just them being actual friends. a sleepover episode is all i wanted imagine all the abba songs we could have gained from that episode

- a halloween themed episode. the closest to this that we got was the ‘thriller/heads will roll’ mashup which YES was iconic but im greedy and it’s not enough. my idea for a halloween episode is that the gang gets trapped inside the school after staying behind to idk rehearse? or something? and then things get progressively worse as they start to go a little mad, thinking the school is haunted and they split up into pairs trying to find an escape and they think they’re seeing ghosts/someone lurking around the school and they’re getting real spooked but it turns out it’s just sue fucking with them lmao

- kurt and finn being brothers. THE POTENTIAL WAS THERE and sadly after furt we are left with crumbs. why ?? WHY?? little moments like finn saying that he’s driving back home with kurt or them saying they can’t do something because they have a family thing would have been good enough. more scenes of them hanging out in their home with their parents would have been *chefs kiss* but alas. it never happened because glee writers are bastards

- based off my last point: sam actually living at the hudson-hummel house because he actually did live there? but nothing is ever said like what’s the dynamic there why weren’t kurt and sam and finn close if they all lived together for what? like a year? was sam living in the mf shed? did he ever get close to carole and burt?? where tf did he live when everyone went off to college did he just stay in their house lol who knows not me LMAO

- blaine dealing with his trauma ? mental health was never dealt with very well on this show. emma’s ocd was just ignored after she got married or whatever and blaine mentioned his trauma once and then it was ignored until it was mentioned in passing a few seasons later and even he just brushed it off and it was never brought up again like wtf. i have no idea how they wrote a whole episode about hate crime in bash and they never once thought to have blaine and kurt have a single conversation together, let alone a conversation about how they’d both been victims of a hate crime. AND THE ONLY TIME BLAINE DOES MENTION IT IS IN TESTED WHERE ITS JUST USED AS A REASON FOR THEM TO FIGHT AAAAAAAA no wait im calm it’s okay. i just would have liked to have seen kurt and blaine have an emotional moment together in that episode that didn’t include blaine singing and kurt being knocked tf out. just sayin.

- kurt dealing with HIS trauma !! again, glee gets bad points for talking about mental health and it just is crazy that they had so much potential with kurt, ie: depression, anxiety, ocd (kinda?) his bullying, being literally assaulted (i see u ryan murphy taking that whole plot line so loosely mmhm) and then shoehorning in the fact that he was suicidal AT THE SECOND TO LAST EPISODE when they had a whole episode about suicide and they could have mentioned it at any time but ofc they didn’t because the writers just wanted to shove in as much as they could in the flashback episode AYE AYE AYE the potential!!!! oof.

- literally just more tina. jenna ushkowitz is a fantastic actor/singer/preformer and she was criminally underused. i like the episode props because of two reasons: one. everyone switching characters was amazing. and two. some actual tina scenes. even if she.. technically was rachel but also herself or something? either way. i digress

- this is just in general but MORE ABBA AND ALSO THE CARPENTERS and also some sound of music songs would have worked GREAT but they already had like a million songs and as the show progressed they veered away from old songs and more towards popular songs at the time to help chart numbers blah blah blah whatever it’s cool. but also how did they only do a few abba songs that is criminal

- a more fleshed out ending that wasn’t so rushed. like rachel won a tony and everyone else is just? there? why is sam at mr shue’s house ??? how did artie get up the stairs? did quinn graduate from yale? and where tf was kurt and blaine’s child during ‘i lived’ because burt and carole are vibing in the audience and rachel isn’t pregnant so like? is the baby just?? alone somewhere in the wings?! lmao where are u bby girl!! but once again i know they didn’t have the time to do it so idk it’s fine what they did it just sucks we didn’t get more! but again. fanfic exists so yah im all good

- more of blaine’s mum. or mom, in this case i guess. why cast gina gershon and then give her ONE line like ? ik there was a whole deleted script that explained why she was there but i love that up until that point blaine seemed like he genuinely murdered his parents, lived in their big house all alone and when people got suspicious he just told them that they were “out of town” :) either way pam is great i love her and i wish she had more to do in the one episode she was ever in. not even a moment with blaine?? wasted.

- more of cooper anderson, matt boomer is so fucking funny everytime i think of the emotion tornado i bust a lung laughing like it’s so fucking stupid but oh my good i love it. (and if you haven’t watched the special feature of cooper’s transformers audition tape please please watch it because it’s just so funny.) ik he was just a special guest but i wish they got him back for at least the wedding ep but guess my mans was just busy. boo ;(

- going back a couple of points, i wish they’d done a whole episode like props. every actor here just shines when they’re impersonating each other. finn and puck as kurt and blaine is beautiful and quinn and sugar is incredible. also idk why they refused kevin the right to wear the cheerios skirt; they could have put a little more effort into some characters but that’s glee for ya lmao but yeah. a whole episode like that would have been so much fun

- they should have let chris colfer write more episodes. purely for the fact that he wrote with his own bare hands the whole scene where lea michelle’s character gets dragged down a road by dogs. this guy. it’s a shame he only got to write one since he actually did a really good job! i would have loved to have seen what other episode ideas he had :)

- glee in the summer! obviously it only was centred around the school year but after season 3 who honestly gave a shit about the glee club and mckinley lmao i wanna see them in SHORT SHORTS and POOL PARTIES but nope we just got september - june so like rip all my hopes and dreams

- WHAT HAPPENED TO DALTON? bitch just burst into flames ?? and for WHAT?? oh yeah plot convenience smh this is so sad i wish they’d either written something better than “we need the warblers to team up with new directions so uhhh the school burnt down” like. it’s a private school. if the school is gone and they’re just staying at mckinley what are the parents paying for? they’re just cool with sending their kids off to public school now? every adult in this universe has been murdered by these kids, haven’t they? they’re just doing whatever they want jfc

- a wedding was a good episode. ish. and yknow, huge kudos to them because gay marriage wasn’t legal in the us at the time so im less harsh on the fact that they definitely threw up the rainbow flags and made it less about the characters getting married and more so “we have gay characters and look they’re getting married what a concept” but i do wish we could have gotten some more married!klaine since they don’t really have much to do after this understandably but a little moment alone together after the wedding would have been nice :) IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE IM TELLING YOU

- get rid of the hummelberry friendship and send mercedes to new york instead. i have nothing else to add to this other than the fact that i mourn the fact that kurt and mercedes went from bffs to just. school mates. this is tragic this is traaaaagic !! and all for more of the rachel berry show smh

- every day i wonder what was going through carmen tibideaux mind when she watched the kurt hummel preform not the boy next door and was like :) and then watched rachel berry have a breakdown on stage and then proceeded to give rachel the spot at nyada and kurt gets payed literal dust. and THEN she had the nerve to tell him it was because his performance had no heart. AND HOW DID ADAM GET IN THIS BABY GOT BACK MOTHERFUCKER?! nyada is a circus school oh my god !!!!! kurt deserved better im telling yall he deserved so much better

there’s so much more i could rant about but im going insane im so tired and i need psychological help after watching glee so im gonna leave it here and say peace out homies it’s been fun but i need to sleep so bad

#this is insanity #how did this happen #glee #tw hate crime mention #tw suicide mention #tw mental health mention #this was from my drafts lmao

39 notes · View notes